Everybody Needs a Ninja: The Robin Edition
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: When everybody wants a ninja, who do they turn to? Robin, of course!


**A/N: So I did this in two other fandoms, one for Teen Titans and one for Code Lyoko. Check 'em out if you want to, but they're kind of inspired by the song "Everybody Needs a Ninja" by Matthew Ebel. Very funny. Great song right there. Listen to it if you wanna hear something hilarious.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the song that the title is inspired by nor any of the mentioned characters.**

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><p><strong><span>Everybody Needs a Ninja: The Robin Edition<span>**

He was quietly sitting there, doing his work, hacking federal systems to see what plans certain politicians had to bomb other politicians or to attack another country, so on so forth. It was just another day. He took a bite of his apple, staring at the static-filled tv as it sat the way Superboy had left it three hours ago.

"Hey, Rob, can I ask you a favor?" Kid Flash had appeared out of nowhere as was his habit. He was vibrating and twitching at the same time, one green eye twitching a bit more than the rest of his body.

The past record of favors Wally asked for:

-smoke bombs  
>-bear repellent<br>-Roy repellent  
>-a copy machine<br>-a tattoo

"Um, no." Robin went back to work. He clicked on a file under the label of 'Operation: Trident' and began to read through it, all the censors disappearing as he hacked deeper into the encrypted codes.

That was when Wally began to whine. "Why not?" His voice had gone high-pitched; his lips puffed out in a pout. "I just need you to be my ninja!"

For starters, he wasn't a ninja, he was an acrobat with weapons. He was like a ninja, not a ninja. Secondly, he was not a ninja for hire.

But... it was just Wally. Not like anything serious was going to happen. Unless he had planned an epic ninja showdown with some evil villain. Then there was definitely going to be a problem. With a sigh, Robin breathed a reluctant, "Fine." Half because he figured there was no harm in it and the other half because he knew saying no would mean having Kid Mouth pester him for the next five hours until he got his way. Better sooner than later.

Pumping a fist in the air and then commencing to do a little happy dance, Wally gave a cry of "Yes!" before speeding off in a blur of red hair and dust.

"Not a ninja," huffed the hacker as he continued to read through files and eat his apple.

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><p>"Robin?" Artemis had just come in from the zeta beam teleporter, bow in hand and quiver slung over her shoulder, obviously just getting back from patrol and taking the time to check in with the Dark Knight and her team.<p>

"Yeah?" he was nonchalantly working on his martial arts, kicking at empty air, punching at a nonexistent opponent, working to beat nothing but his own strength. He had to get stronger to compete with the bigger enemies. Constant training, never ending patrols, vigilance at all hours of the day. Being Robin wasn't an easy job.

"Favor?" The blonde archer had set aside her bow and had dropped her quiver by the side of the couch, heading over towards the training pad to watch him work through his daily routine. Artemis peeled of her mask, letting it fall against her back like a hood would.

"Listening." One word answers were the norm for them. She would say one thing, he would reply with one thing, back and forth, back and forth, kind of like ping-pong but less fun. He did a quick backflip, immediately crouching upon impact and sweeping his foot towards imaginary opponent's legs, knocking down his fellow fighter.

Artemis was glad she was on the sidelines. She'd never want to actually fight him. "Be my ninja?"

The second time in three days? He almost questioned it before thinking better of it. Too many questions usually ended up with more than enough stupid answers. Majority of them from Wally, but that was a given.

But who was he to say no? He could be two people's ninjas at once, right? "Sure." Back to his one word answers. He delveded a punch to the air before roundhouse kicking the best he could while delivering a few more punches. All in a day's work...

"Thanks." And she was leaving to go see if Megan had recently made any sweets.

"Welcome." He rolled out of the way of an imaginary explosive. Training hard would only make him stronger...

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><p>She handed him a plate of cookies, each decorated with chocolate frosting and enough chocolate chips in them to send Kid Flash into a sugar coma if he had more than three at a time. "Here you go." Megan flashed a big smile as she watched her youngest teammate nod to her gratefully as he began to hungrily tuck into his snack.<p>

"Thanks, Miss M," he said through a mouthful of chocolatey goodness, unable to resist eating before thanking. Growing kids always have to eat. Even if they were eating candy and sugar and such.

She kept on that big smile as she watched him devour the first cookie before diving into the second. "May I ask a favor?" she asked gently, hoping not to disrupt his eating. She'd heard someone say something about biting the hand that feeds you... Maybe it was something Superboy had watched...

"Go ahead." He was in Heaven. So many cookies. So much sugary goodness. It was like eating a freaking cloud... All the chocolate... So much chocolate... He really loved chocolate.

"Could you be my ninja?" Her brown eyes got wide for a moment as his head tilted up to look at her a bit more and she was automatically stuttering out, "I mean, you don't hav-"

"No problem, Meg." He gave her a smile, reaching for a third cookie. "I'll be your ninja." Three times in four days. He almost asked, but that would seem rude and upsetting Megan meant no more cookies. He didn't want to upset the girl, now did he?

She flashed him another smile, this one grateful. And she web to get him more cookies.

Yeah, he was living the good life...

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><p>"Roy." His voice was stern despite the exhaustion that plagued his baby blue eyes. "It's four in the morning. Why are you calling me?" Jeez, he'd been out patrolling for three hours with Batman before getting sent home because it was a school night and he only had five hours of sleep to work off of if he got to bed early enough and- All the math torched his brain. Too late at night, not enough sleep, too much blood loss. Now was not a good time.<p>

"I need a ninja."

Again? Really? Seriously? Dick's head hit the pillow as he elicited a quiet moan. "Roy..."

"It's for a ninja contest we're having. Wally dared Artemis, M'gann, and I to have ninjas by tomorrow and I didn't have time to call Jade."

Another moan. It wasn't just from the slit in his side or the busted rib. No, he hadn't told Bruce about that 'cause he still needed to go to school tomorrow. Alfred had done a quick patch job and sent him off to bed before his foster father could get home.

No, he was moaning because he'd been a tool in their little game. "Yeah, sure." Why not? Agree to be another ninja... What harm could it do?

"Yes! I'm totally gonna win!" The line went dead.

Dick curled back up, arm tucked under his head, hoping for the pain of his injuries to subside so he could get back to sleep...

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><p>Wally's jade orbs flitted around the three that stood around him, everyone a good distance apart. He was quiet for a moment, attempting to build suspense. Then he cried out, "Ninjas ready!"<p>

He was expecting ninjas.

There were no ninjas.

A pause ensued. A long, grueling, painful pause in which everyone noticed that Robin wasn't coming. And that he hadn't been to Mount Justice all day... And that he wasn't there.

"Anyone seen Robin?" questioned Wally innocently.

"Robin was my-"

"-e was mi-"

"-gave him cook-"

"-romised me he was-"

"Nu-uh!"

"Rob's my nin-"

"-my ninja!"

"He's my n-"

"Do cookies mean anyt-"

"-had dibs!"

"No way, Baywa-"

"I'll kill the little brat!"

"-my ninja was Ro-"

"Rob promis-"

"-played us-"

"-ninja-"

"Okay! Time out!" Wally had to be the voice of reason. Why? He was the loudest. "Where is Robin?"

"Obviously not here," snorted Roy, pissed beyond belief.

"Let's call him then." Wally whipped out his phone, put it on speaker, and hit seven on his speeddial. (R for Robin, of course.)

Five redials and twenty minutes later, the acrobat picked up in a groggy voice that asked, "Hello?" Man, he did not want to deal with this today. He had school in twenty minutes and he was already going to be late. He still hadn't gotten out of bed yet. He hadn't fallen asleep again since Roy called.

"Why aren't you here for the ninja battle?" whined Wally.

Great. The whiny voice again. Dick almost hung up right there. He rubbed his fingers to his temple and looked at the clock. It was like five in the morning and they all had school in three hours, that was one reason why he hadn't shown. Secondly, once he figured out it was a ninja battle, he had decided not to care. "Dude, it's stupid. That, and I'd be dueling myself, so no." He rolled over and pulled a blanket up to his face, trying to figure out how to get comfortable so he could get back to sleep.

"Rob-"

"Wally, I'm not a ninja. I'm an acrobat." He let out a huff of annoyance. "Not a ninja."

There was a long pause from the other end of the line. "Oh, well crap, you aren't even worth the time then! I gotta go find me a real ninja!" And the phone went dead.

"Not a ninja." Dick pulled the covers over his head and closed his cobalt eyes, hoping to get at least another hour of sleep. Stupid people, not knowing the difference between ninjas and acrobats. There were dictionaries for a reason.

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><p><strong>AN: The end was such a struggle… I was between two endings but settled with this one to try and keep the mood lighter. Review?**

**~Sky**


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